My New Year’s resolution is to not find myself on a bull ride with a student. In bull riding, an eight second ride earns the intrepid rider a spot on the scoreboard. It is intense and tough to do. In teaching, eight seconds can earn your student a chance at learning and you a chance at teaching.

I clearly remember the first classroom rodeo I observed as a student teacher. The moment came as a too-old-for-his-grade middle schooler was asked to move seats because he was talking.

After no response, the teacher walked closer to the student and through gritted teach said, “Move. Now!” The student just stared back at him. You could almost see the boy’s hand slip perfectly into the bull rope as his shoulders slightly tensed.

The boy broke his stare. As he looked away, his words were just barely loud enough for the teacher to hear. “Whatever dude.”

That was it. The chute was flung open and the bull ride began.

“What did you say to me?” said the teacher. There was no answer, save the boy’s actions as he pulled his hoodie over his head and hunkered down at his desk. The teacher stood to his full height over the sitting boy as he repeated himself, “I said, what did you say?” Silence.

“That’s what I thought. You keep that attitude up and it is all over for you,” said the teacher as he walked away with a slight swagger covering a defeat he would not admit.

The boy could not help himself. Words were his only weapon to protect himself and his reputation. “Whatever dude.”

The teacher was powerless over his own words as well. “That’s it. Just go to the office. Get out of here!” There! At least HIS reputation was still intact.

“You asked what I said!”

Red-faced, the teacher’s words lunged from his mouth, “Get out! Now!”

“Whatever, $%*# you!” The boy slammed out the classroom door, past the office and into the world beyond. He did not come back to school for a long time.

The teacher turned to me as the boy stormed out and said, “You can never let them win or it is all over for you.” In his world, these were the only two choices. As the days went by without too-old-for-his-grade boy in attendance, I began to wonder, “What if there were a third way?”

Flash forward twenty years. Governor Inslee has proposed a 2019-21 budget that allots $7.5 million for regional ESDs to coordinate approaches to prevention, early identification and intervention to address students’ behavioral and mental health needs. One aspect of this is to help educators recognize and respond to emotional and behavioral distress in students. Distress is often a call for help cleverly disguised in the actions of an angry, non-compliant student.

This is where some knowledge of how the brain works and how it processes emotion can come in handy. It is the kind of knowledge I hope is reflected in Governor Inslee’s proposal. For instance, if teachers were made aware of the role of the cingulate gyrus in the brain, they might be more adept at helping a student regulate behavior his or her behavior (and their OWN behavior for that matter!). The cingulate gyrus is located deep in the brain and is responsible for helping students shift from one action to another. This cognitive flexibility is what allows students to shift their thinking from being angry when asked to move because they have been talking in class, to letting go of the initial reaction and deciding to simply move.

Cognitive flexibility varies from person to person, but develops more and more with age and experience. There are strategies teachers can easily use for those who struggle with the cognitive flexibility and have a difficult time transitioning. My favorite is the eight-second rule. When a student has a hard time cognitively flexing, often all they need is just eight seconds to process the experience. Eight seconds of time in which no teacher is staring them down. Eight seconds of time in which the teacher has simply walked away and allowed the student to truly decide to comply instead of being forced deeper into conflict.

This year, I resolve to remember that many of my students struggle with cognitive flexibility. Many are middle schoolers who have had traumatic childhoods and have brains wired deeply for fight over flight. I resolve to allow my students eight seconds of space and time so that they can truly decide if the ride is really worth it.