The Importance of Tone

Teacher%20help%20studentsBy Kristin

I've been conducting interviews with both successful and struggling students, asking the same set of questions over and over to look for attributes each group has in common.  My research isn't scientific; I'm simply using what I know of their academic skills and performance.  "Successful" equals passing classes and meeting the state assessments.  "Struggling" equals failing classes and not passing state assessments. 

When I began the interviews I thought home life was the most important factor in a child's success – that or teaching strategy.  But I questioned whether it all boiled down to teaching strategy because I have some kids who are failing my class and the classes of other highly-capable teachers.  And I questioned whether it boiled down to home because I have some kids who are very successful despite chaotic and violent lives outside of school, and vice versa. 

Now that I've interviewed a number of kids I'm realizing parents aren't the most important thing, neither is breakfast or my high leverage teaching moves.  So far it seems the two most important things are a teacher's tone and a student's habit of "getting the work done."  In this post, I'm going to cover the former.

How does a teacher's tone impact a child's academic success?  It affects a student's perception of his or her academic potential.

The most common difference between successful and struggling students is that successful students consider themselves smart, and unsuccessful students don't.  When I ask, "Do you think you're smart?"  Unsuccessful students answer, "I don't know," or "sometimes," or "ummmmm, I guess so.  In certain things."  Successful students say, "yes," or "I think so."  Some of them even laugh, as if the question is ridiculous, which it kind of is.

The same difference exists when I ask, "Do your teachers think you're smart?"  Unsuccessful students answer, "some do," "sometimes," "no."  Successful students say, "yes." 

There's no difference when I ask, "Do your parents think you're smart?"  All of them say, "Yes."

So I asked follow up questions, expecting to find an overly-critical parent or overall poor self-esteem as the answer to "I'm not so sure I'm smart."  Turns out that these kids question their own intelligence because at some point they asked for clarification when they didn't understand something and a teacher got mad, snapped at them, walked away, blew them off, or refused to answer the question.  And here's the killer – even if you never do that to kids, even if it happened a few years ago, the child has still internalized "I'm not smart"  and will behave according to that internal voice until the damage is undone.  The grades start to confirm the belief and the cycle begins.

Because these are interviews with kids I know well, I think I know how the damage happens.  Here's the situation:  "Mike" is a challenging kid.  He struts in just as the bell rings yelling, "I'm not late!  I'm not late!" then interrupts instructions by blurting out, "Can I borrow a pencil?"  The teacher clearly and carefully explains the task while Mike doodles and makes faces at someone across the room.  When it's time to get to work, Mike throws his hand up and whines, "What are we doing?"  The teacher says, "If you'd listened you would know." 

The teacher wants him to hear, "you would get it if you listened."  It turns out that Mike hears "you're dumb and not worth my time." 

Now, obviously, there are gaps in my "research," and I'm not saying we have to baby kids or tolerate rude behavior. I am saying that many of the kids who are not performing up to their academic potential don't think they have a lot of academic potential, and the reason they think that is because of what a teacher said or how she said it.

So, I wanted to find out what teachers can do to make a child feel smart. The most common responses to "what are the clues a teacher thinks you're smart?" have to do with how we talk to them and what we say:  "he always explains things," "she told me I could do better," "she told me to do more," "she told me to do it again because I could do better," and "he told me he expected an A from me."  They hear these phrases as, "You're smart."  And when they feel smart, they try.  The kids who aren't so sure if they're smart, don't.

So far, feeling smart seems to be a much more common factor in a child's success than being read to, having educated parents, eating breakfast, or having a teacher who uses high-leverage moves like "ongoing formative assessment."  Feeling smart matters and, based on the interviews, it's something that comes from teachers.

5 thoughts on “The Importance of Tone

  1. Mark

    I have found that one of the most important tools I can use is a sincere apology when I myself cross the line. My blow-ups are the things of hallway legend (known as the “g-bomb” after my last name) but whenever I do boil over, I make a point to apologize afterward to the whole class not for reacting, but for my manner. We “process” what happened which led to the blowup, and then discuss our mutual culpability. I want kids to see that it is the responsible, adult thing to do to take ownership of our mis-speaks and mis-deeds, and to seek means to fix the fallout of those transgressions.
    It is also important to do one more thing–something we expect of our students but I see far too many teachers and other school staff forgetting to do. If we want something done, we should ask for it politely. Sternly growling “Sit down and do your work right now, please!” is not what I’m talking about. Tone makes all the difference, “Okay folks, let’s get refocused, have a seat. I expect you to be settled in and working quietly by yourselves in the next twenty seconds” goes a lot further to inspire cooperation than a fiercely barbed threat would.

  2. Brian

    Sometimes it’s the “shotgun” approach that does the harm. The results of an assignment or test were disappointing, so the teacher stands in front of the class and blasts away at all the students. But there were more than a few kids who did their best, did well even, and what they hear is “You’re all bad”. I’ve made it a point to drop that strategy, and instead just say “Some of you did well, but we need to work a little harder on this”.
    Great idea to interview your students!

  3. Rob D.

    Tone…I’m still working on that one. I won’t make you feel stupid but there are some deal breakers in the student – teacher relationship. If you are preventing someone else’s learning, are unsafe, or are not doing your level best than I’ll call you out on it (privately). I care too much about you and your future to ignore it.
    But in my darkest days, the days I regret, I’ve let my frustrations dictate the tone of my interactions with students.
    But I believe that it is my job to make sure every student I teach has a success that I can recognize each day. Success builds upon success. But weeks of positive outcomes can be undone by a moment of frustration.

  4. Kristin

    Mark, you’re right. If the relationship is there the teacher can afford a mistake with his tone because you can go back and apologize and set things right. The student knows the frustration had to do with the teacher, and not his own lack of worth. When there’s no relationship there the student assumes it has to do with him, again.
    I get so angry with teachers who act like students are the problem, and who begrudge them every ounce of patience and compassion.

  5. Mark

    Yes, yes yes!! The manner in which a teacher interacts with a student makes such a difference. I try very hard to manage my tone (not always successful) and also teach kids about their own tone and how that can sometime be the reason they “get in trouble for no reason.”
    I believe…and have observed…that far too many teachers and other school staff have their default tone setting at a place which provokes defiant or disrespectful student responses.
    I guess it just boils down to this for me: I want kids to feel like they can ask me questions without feeling stupid (ever). That feeling starts long before they ever feel the need to ask a question.

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