As a teacher, I often hide.

Sometimes I hide from my students – during my plan period, I might sit far away from the door in a corner desk, just so I can get work done with no distractions.  Sometimes I hide from my colleagues – last year, my first year back in the classroom after five years, I taught in a part of the school removed from the main building, so it was easy to keep to myself, away from any drama and school gossip.  This physical isolation also meant few district visitors, drop ins from other staff members, and general glances in from adults in the hallways.  This year, in a new room, much closer to the action, I feel more connected to the culture of the school, but I also feel more exposed.

One of the values of my school is “visibility.”  We seek to make our students’ thinking visible (especially through the work of Ron Ritchhart and Project Zero’s Visible Thinking work) and we are working towards making our own work more visible to each other.  And this visibility often means vulnerability.  Throughout the day, even though I project a strong, outgoing personality, I often feel vulnerable in front of my students.  On some days, it takes all my energy to put myself together to make it through the day, and I work to hide that vulnerability from students.   So being visible and vulnerable in front my colleagues is another level of challenge.

For me, this visibility is part of my daily teaching life as I co-teach all my classes with an Exceptional Needs Specialist.  (See my post on co-teaching.)  I can’t hide, even when I want to.  I can’t hide the days when I’m inconsistent in disciplining students.   I can’t hide when I don’t have a full “bell to bell” lesson ready, and the kids are packing up early.   I can’t hide how few kids turn in homework assignments for the class.  I can’t hide when I resort to calling on the same students.   I can’t hide when I move on with the next skill, even when I know some students are still struggling.  I can’t hide when I am just in a bad mood and I don’t want to be there that day.

This commitment to visibility stepped up even more this year as our school has teachers take turns serving as an l Instructional Coach each Wednesday, coming into classes for short observations.  (See Hope Teague-Bowling’s post on this practice.) These new visitors bring a heightened sense of vulnerability.  My co-teacher knows my strengths and weaknesses already – but what are these new folks going to think?

During each of these visits, I felt embarrassed at different moments… why did that kid have to whisper about me to his friend during class?   Why did that one group of students show such reluctance in participating in our activity?  Why did a handful of kids pick this day to be so tired?

But for all my vulnerability and flushed red cheeks, I realize that all of this visibility makes me a more effective teacher.   

My co-teacher helps me recognize when I am inconsistent with discipline so that I can be more consistent.   She helps me diagnose why our homework return rate is low and problem solve so that we can improve it.  She takes over the heavy lifting on the days when I’m just not all there so that our students can continue to learn.

These Instructional Coaches script what the students is saying about me so that I can talk with my administrator about appropriate next steps.   They encourage me to see the reasons why a group might not want to participate so that I can engage them the next time.  They remind me of all the beauty in the groups that did participate so that I will be encouraged to continue and give the activity another try another day.   They remind me that their students are tired too so that I don’t feel so alone in the work.

And perhaps that‘s the reason for visibility.  To remind us that we are not alone.  The latter statement can be taken as a strong reminder that we have a duty to each other and our students to be effective educators.  We are all watching each other – we won’t let anyone slide.   And the statement can be taken as an encouragement that we are partners in the work and that many others are facing the same challenges.

There’s no need to hide.