By Tom

I’ve always had a loose relationship with Memorial Day. I
loved celebrating it, of course; what’s not to love about a three day weekend?
But the meaning of Memorial Day was always somewhat abstract, probably because
I’ve never actually had a member of my family die in battle. I had a
great-great grandfather who survived the Civil War (he was a Confederate
private), my grandfather’s family fled the Ukraine to avoid the Russo-Japanese
War, my father missed World War II but ended up on an aircraft carrier during
the Korean War. And although the pilots who took off from his ship didn’t
always make it back, he never saw any direct action. As for myself, I was
fourteen when Vietnam ended. Thank God.

So growing up, Memorial Day has never meant much more to me than a long
weekend in May.

As a teacher, I’ve always marked Memorial Day with an
explanation of what it means and what we’re supposed to be honoring with our
day off. And since I work with young children, they have always been eager to
share their stories of relatives who died in war. (Or simply died, although I
try to move those stories along) This has been a staple of my May lesson plans
for decades.

Recently, however, my Memorial Day lesson has become a little
awkward, and it has to do with where I work.

I teach in Lynnwood, Washington, a
suburb of Seattle that over the past decade has become the destination
of immigrants from everywhere, many of which come from countries that are
former or present American enemies.

I have no problem explaining what Memorial Day represents.
It’s pretty straight-forward. The discomfort – at least for me – is when we
start talking about relatives who have died in battle. When a student’s whose
family came from Vietnam, Japan, Afghanistan, Ukraine, Libya, Pakistan, Iraq, India
or even Mexico starts to talk about a grandfather, uncle or brother who died in
a war, I have to remind them that, yes; it’s important to honor their service and sacrifice,
but Memorial Day is technically set aside to honor people from the US military
who died in battle, some of whom died fighting in – or even against – the countries
for whom their relatives fought.

Like I said, it can be awkward.

This year, I’m treating it a little differently. (I always
have my Memorial Day lesson one day late instead of three days early. It’s who
I am.) I’m going to start by discussing what we did over the weekend. Then I’ll
explain the history of Memorial Day, followed by a brief chronology of the
major wars in which our country has been involved. Then I’ll explain how other
countries honor their fallen warriors; particularly Vietnam, (Day of Remembrance,
April 30^th) since I happen to have five Vietnamese Americans in my
class this year. I will try to steer clear of story-telling.

We’ll see how it goes.