by Brian
I recently read an article that actually defends the U.S. education system rather than attacks it (a pleasant change). Vivek Wadhwa says: U.S. Schools Are Still Ahead—Way Ahead. It's a good read, but what really caught my interest was a link he had to another article: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior by Amy Chua.
There is a lot of concern about achievement gaps for many groups of students, but one demographic that no one is worried about is Asian-American kids. They do well. Amy Chua says that for Chinese children it's not some genetic advantage, or good schools and teachers; it's due to Chinese mothers like her. As I read her description of some of her expectations and tactics, I was taken aback. She effectively dismisses most of what I believe to be good parenting. But in this era of high stakes testing, maybe she's right.
Chua is unabashedly chauvinistic, but she acknowledges that mothers of other nationalities can be "Chinese", and that some Chinese mothers don't qualify, usually those born in the West. She says that most Western parents who consider themselves to be strict are just kidding themselves. She has a list of things her daughters were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
She cites a study of 50 American mothers and 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, in which almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun." She reports that basically 0% of the Chinese mothers agreed. In contrast, the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be "the best" students, that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job."
Chua contrasts what she would do if one of her daughters brought home a B with what an American mother might do. First she says that bringing home a B would never happen, but if it did "there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion." The American mother might even praise her child for the B. She says: "Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their child doesn't get them, the Chinese parent assumes it's because the child didn't work hard enough."
But it was the last paragraph that really hit me. Because now that our students are required to pass 5 high-stakes tests to graduate from high school, maybe the Chinese mother strategy is what we all need:
Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they're capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.
Is it just me, or wouldn't it be great if we could have both?
After reading about this woman and hearing her talk on NPR, I’ve come to this conclusion:
I can’t imagine a more horrible childhood than what she put her daughters through.
I’m fairly strict, both as a father and as a teacher, but I’m only strict when the situation demands it. Strictness for it’s own sake is nothing less than cruelty.
Jenny, I love that reply from the American mother. Anyone who quotes Erma Bombeck can have my heart.
My seven year old is taking piano…maybe I’m Chinese! But no, because mostly she layers on the costumes, something usually including both a ball gown and a bathing suit, and says something like, “I’m a patient in the hospital with a broken leg but I found this piano and everyone knew I was a princess,” or something like that, before pounding out Peter Pumpkin Eater.
I have plenty of Chinese American students, and I think they and their mothers would laugh at Chua’s recipe for Chinese domination. They would call it arrogant, inaccurate, and ridiculous, and so do I. I guess we’re not so different.
And can we have both high performance and individuality and happiness? Of course.
Here is another response from a Western mom: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703333504576080422577800488.html?mod=WSJ_article_RecentColumns_TheSaturdayEssay
It looks like the philosophy of parenting doesn’t matter as much as simply caring passionately about how your child does in school.
Jenny, you make some interesting points, and thanks for the links as well. As a teacher an a parent, this is an interesting topic.
However, there was one line in the “American Mothers” article which was very disturbing… she wrote “I’m raising my children to be themselves and to mold the world to fit.”
I get the spirit of that statement in its context (and I don’t disagree, since I know the context in which that mother raised her kids), but I believe that one of the biggest disservices we can do our children is to raise them to think that the world *ought to* mold to their will. That kind of philosophy results in self-centered, indulgent, short-sighted and entitled adults…which this country already has a surplus of. This is the root of my previous comment about teachers being to blame for not making homework “interesting enough.” When we prize the individual too much, the individual starts to believe that the rest of the world ought to prize them. It makes me think of the parting wish that I give my departing students each year, something to the effect of “I hope the world comes to realize how special and valuable you are, and I hope that you realize that in the big picture you are no more special or valuable than anyone else, and should not expect–or worse yet, demand–to be treated as such.”
The problem in our country is not a flawed education system. I believe we are too afraid to (1) demand effort and (2) acknowledge that a student’s failure is more often attributable to a lack of effort on the student’s part than a lack of effort on the teacher’s part. When we blame the teacher because the student chooses not to work, we are illustrating the greater illness. We as a society do not have the guts to do the tough task of holding KIDS accountable (as the stereotypical” Chinese mother” in these articles does) so we take the easy route, as it seems our country is wont to do nowadays, of blaming and “holding accountable” someone else: teachers.
Brian- I really liked Wadwas explanation about the differences in populations included for those high stakes tests around the world.
The “Chinese Tiger Mother” article did give me pause to ponder. But having been in a high tier Chinese School- albeit only for a week, I really did see the lack of creativity in the students and faculty- not to say lack of skill- but of originality. Also I saw a level of fear – among adults and kids. The Chinese and the American faculty spoke about our challenges. One thing the Chinese teachers said was that almost everyone of them was just one generation away from peasant life. I reflected on my immigrant grandparents and what they instilled in my parents.
There is no doubt that parental responsibility and personal responsibility on the part of students are missing variables as we triangulate the answer to reaching success for all students. But the cost of the tiger mom approach is too high. There is an invaluable quality to the American ability to innovate and take risks– to operate at the level of metaphor because of the broadening experiences of sports, drama, the arts, and the development of the emotional IQ that is provided by non academic interaction with peers that is vital to our success as a nation. It would be a quiet forest indeed if only the best singers were allowed to sing. Not everyone is going to be a prodigy. Not everyone is going to earn the A. ( imagine complaints of grad inflation then) Envision the future quality of life for regular citizens, the A- and B and C students, if you will, in an era of Chinese ascendency.That a civil society is one in which people find uplifting, actualizing activities outside of their employment is essential. It is those life skills fostered in the arts and extracurricular activities we have as youngsters that allow us to sample the other strengths that we may have.
Here is a rousing reply to the Chinese Mother article by an American mother and academic. http://techcrunch.com/2011/01/14/american-mothers-superior/
While we are looking at our system vs the Chinese why not go a bit farther- Contemplate instead a society in which we measure our success with gross national happiness index– check out an interview with Eric Winer’s about his book. “The Geography of Bliss.” http://www.kuow.org/program.php?id=14175
Yes, mothers do matter. But I’d take yours and mine over the author of “Tiger Mom” any day.
Jenny
Both those articles are fascinating, thanks for posting them.
As for your question, wouldn’t it be great if we could have both? Sure, it would be great. But I think the two are mutually exclusive. Personally, I tend to believe that we’ve taken to prizing the “individual” so much that we make it an excuse for lack of effort. And then what ends up happening is that teachers who assign homework that does not get completed end up being blamed for not making that homework “interesting enough” to make the student want to work.