By Mark

At the close of each year, I always come up with some kind of message–like we all do–to the students who are about to leave my classroom. I posted my message to the class of 2010, ruminated about the significance of the ceremony in 2011, and have been mulling what to share with the class of 2012. Here it goes:

This year I want to address the lies perpetuated by this graduation "celebration." 

I'm talking about the blatant lies and excess flattery penned in cliche'd almost-rhymes in the cards you have been or will be receiving from friends and family over the next few weeks. Thankfully, like much of the homework reading assigned in the last several years you won't be reading those either. I know you'll shake them for cash, check the envelope just in case, then hand them to mom for filing in your memory book.

Let's start with the most seemingly innocuous: "Congratulations, graduate! You did it!"

What it really should say: "Congratulations, graduate! You did some of it!"

I'm not intending to diminish the work you may have done. But you have to admit that you didn't do it alone. You probably had parents, teachers, and coaches who did an awful lot as well. And, if you're like too many high school graduates, some of what you claim to have done was actually copied from a friend or found on www.freeCplusEssays.com. But keeping it on the positive: maybe you did some great things, but you did not do them alone. Very little of any value is truly accomplished alone.

The next offender: "Follow your dreams in this next chapter of your life!"

Besides being a textbook mixed metaphor… what it really should say: "Have realistic dreams you are willing to work toward, and use 'spell check' when writing all these chapters."

Sure, we're a nation of dreamers. That is what our country was founded upon. However, the dreams upon which our country was built are far different from the dreams many of us dream today. Think: what are your dreams about? Are they realistic based on how much work you are willing to invest? Are they dreams of luck and chance or dreams of effort and skill? Remember that there is no magic force field you cross through as you walk the stage at graduation–if you weren't willing to work hard before today, chances are that this will not change immediately, and this ought to influence what you choose to list in those "dreams"  you are constantly encouraged to "make big." Recognize that your "dreams" will not just come to you, so if you haven't yet learned how to work hard, that should be your first dream: learn to work hard.

And the bit about spell check: I'm not criticizing poor spelling or reliance upon the little dotted red line that pops up sometimes. But please know the difference between definitely and defiantly, their and there, begging and beginning…or at least know that you don't know the difference so you can do something about it when you want to use one of these. As you write these next "chapters" in your life, remember that no matter how many times you have been told to "not care what anyone else thinks" about you, you need to care about that. One way to show you care: Spell correctly. Occasional minor errors are forgivable… but even in your Facebook status, try to spell words properly. Yes, it does matter. Yes, it will change how people see you. It is little, but it can make the difference as to whether you will be called back for an interview or considered for a promotion. Care enough to notice words you don't spell correctly, then make it a point to use your resources.

And, the most heinous, destructive, and mis-interpreted piece of advice wrapped in an innocuous go-get-em: "Seize the day! Live each day like it is your last!"

What it should say: "Live each day so that tomorrow is better than today."

We've cultivated a live-in-the-momentness which was perhaps sound advice a generation or two ago. Now, it is read as self-indulgence and disregard for the future. "Carpe Diem!" has mutated into "Screw Responsibility!" Hear this: only live today like it is the last day of your life if you are willing to clean up the figurative and literal messes–without complaining–tomorrow and the days that follow. You should always be thinking forward–how will your now affect your later? Always consider the answer to that. You can "live for today" without ruining tomorrow.

Perhaps that's enough cynicism for now. Enjoy the moment, but recognize that this moment is fleeting. Perhaps what has led you to this graduation stage has prepared you for your next stage in life–perhaps it has not. Remember also that we live life, it does not happen to us. When casting blame always look to yourself first and when claiming credit always consider others before puffing yourself up. Dream big, audacious, but realistic dreams you are willing to work toward. Don't live life obsessed with the future, but do treat each day as what it should be: the foundation for a better tomorrow.

Congratulations, class of 2012.